Do you want me to suck your lance, baby?

24 Feb

Over at Erotica for All, Tiffany Reisz has made a passionate plea for writers to take the euphemism out of fuck talk, or ‘erotica’ as we like to circumlocutarily denominate it.

As she says:

In my writing, I tend to err on the side of the standard–it’s a cock, it’s a penis, or it’s implied. When I write, “he pushed inside her,” readers are pretty sure I’m not talking about a man penetrating a women with a matchbox car, a tube of chapstick, or a cell phone. I’ve seen other writers use flowery euphemisms for the penis during sex scenes– “lance,” “sword,” “manhood.” Manhood is a particularly odd one for me. I’ve never had a penis in my womanhood so why would I have a manhood in my vagina. And the sword metaphors freak me out a little. Sword? Lance? Really?

And that’s the truth of it. The only synonym for cock that I can swallow is dick, and cock just has that percussive sound to it that makes my stomach tingle. Dick has its place, but for me it’s second best to cock. Weapon is too aggressive. I mean, even with rough sex it’s not a weapon. And lance… I mean, have those people ever seen a lance? Or, if they’ve seen a lance, have they ever seen a penis? Or a cock for that matter.

Now, I’m a bit more coy when it comes to the vajayjay. Cunt or pussy? I know some writers dislike the word pussy, but for me it’s a useful word with a lower intensity than cunt, which still has a power in the English language that no other word does. I say it, I like saying it, I like writing it, but it’s not the first thing to pass my lips.

And that’s quite enough blow job jokes. Thank you.

3 Responses to “Do you want me to suck your lance, baby?”

  1. willcrimson February 24, 2011 at 8:30 am #

    I tend to use words that fit the context. In *this* sense: What would a character be thinking at a given moment? In my rewrite of Beauty & the Beast, I used the word prick – and that’s the first time I’ve used that moniker. For some reason, it seemed appropriate. Probably the only place that “Beauty” would have seen an erect penis “a prick” is on a horse or other such animal. When she saw the Beast’s “prick”, it seemed more likely she would have referred to it as such. Sometimes it’s fun creating contexts for other euphemisms.

    • mehryinett February 24, 2011 at 9:06 am #

      Hmm, yes, I’d forgotten prick. That’s one that has got a nicer sound to it than dick. I still prefer cock though. It’s the central prong of the eroticista’s trident, with dick and prick taking up the flanks.

      I haven’t read your Beauty and the Beast story yet–I’ll mosey over and take a look.


  1. Tweets that mention Do you want me to suck your lance, baby? « Mehry Inett -- - February 24, 2011

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tiffany Reisz, mehryinett. mehryinett said: Do you want me to suck your lance, baby? Why @TiffanyReisz is right about cocks […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: