Tag Archives: erotic

Royal erotica – Cashing in on William and Kate’s first night

4 May

More fictional sex between people whose motivations are less than pure.

*****

The wardrobe smelled of mushrooms. Kirsty fought the urge to retch, and wondered for the tenth time in ten minutes if she could let the door ajar to give her some respite. She tried to distract herself from the odour by checking her camcorder again. How long would they be? It was already past midnight.

She flipped open the viewscreen and checked the battery. Full. Sixty minutes left on the tape. It ought to be enough. Jeremy said he didn’t expect the whole thing to last more than five minutes.

“Let’s face it, they’ll be exhausted,” he had told her as he drove her along Pall Mall. “It’s the biggest day of their lives, even Wills, and he’s a prince. Just imagine how Kate will be feeling.” He leant on the horn and flicked two fingers up at a taxi driver. “She’s been working up to this moment for the last ten years. They’ll be knackered.” They stopped at the red lights in Trafalgar Square. “Just think of all the things that might go wrong.”

“Too drunk, too tired, too wasted,” Kirsty volunteered.

“And she might have the painters in,” Jeremy said. “But none of that matters. Even if nothing happens, if we have got the only video of the royal couple’s first night together, then we’ll be minted.”

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